The Beginning of an Era

I have completed 2 days of training at my new job.  I feel like my head is spinning with all the info. I’ve tried to absorb in the past 48 hours.  I have spent meetings trying to learn everyone’s names because I had no idea what was actually being discussed in the meetings.  I can’t wait until it all makes sense & I am not having to ask a million questions a day.

I am very excited about my new job.  I really like everyone there & the company seems great! It’s so different from my last job, which was so disorganized.  When I started yesterday the 1st thing I did was fill out all sorts of paperwork & get a big employee handbook.  I was so excited to see all the systems & rules in places…like a real company!  No more having a boss that changes her mind everyday about how something should be done. Even though I know the next few weeks will consist of me crashing on the couch after work from exhaustion…it’ll be worth it once I have learned it all!

The End of an Era

I can’t believe it’s really over.


I spent 2 years working there, 2 years giving everything I had. In the end, as much relief as it gave me, it also broke my heart to walk away. Maybe because that’s literally what I did…I walked away. I didn’t train anyone to take my place, I just sent an e-mail & that was that. It’s such a mix of emotions. On one hand, I’m thrilled to not be in a job where I’m disrespected, distrusted & unappreciated by my boss. Not to have to worry about what kind of mood she’s in that day or who she’s going to yell at. On the other hand though, it’s sad. During the 2 years I worked there, I did everything I could to help the company, to make it thrive. I nurtured our clients & spoke highly of our products. So it’s hard to leave, knowing they are going to have no idea how to do the majority of my tasks. That my leaving so abruptly is hurting the company I helped succeed for 2 years of my life. I had to do what I did though, enough was enough.


Right now I’m sitting in a wicker chair with Ellie by my side. We’re outside a little cottage I rented for the night in Fredericksburg, Texas. I had to get away for a couple of days. Sitting in my apartment all day, waiting for my new job to start, driving myself crazy with thoughts…it was not good for me. So this morning Ellie & I drove here. It’s been a nice little break from it all. I didn’t bring my laptop (my attempt to cut myself off from the world a little). I did bring a pen & paper…I had a feeling I was going to want to write these feelings down…guess I was right.

I say a prayer tonight to my old company, that my departure doesn’t do too much damage.  That they finally get the coverage & success they deserve.  I saw a prayer to my old boss, that she finds happiness & that her & her son have a wonderful life.  Finally, I say a prayer to the new, for a fresh start, to something wonderful ahead.

Cooper Bridge Run

Two weeks ago I flew up to Charleston, SC to work the Cooper Bridge Run expo & decided to also sign up for the 10K race that Saturday.  I hadn't run too many times since the Austin 1/2 a month before & was a little nervous that I would be out of shape.  I flew up Wednesday night & had 2 very long days Thurs. & Fri. (23 or so hours total) at the expo booth.  I was exhausted Friday night & quickly looked up the route I would need to walk to the race the next morning, got my running clothes all lined up & promptly passed out.


Saturday morning my alarm went off around 7 (the race started at 8), I threw my outfit, running shoes & bib number on & got ready to walk the mile & a half to the start line.  I assumed I was going be alone in this walk, I mean, who walks a mile & a half just to run 6.2 miles & then walk the mile & a half back? I was so wrong.  It blew me away how many people I was surrounded by on the walk over. There were probably close to a thousand people coming from hotels all over making the journey to the starting line.  It was a sight that make me almost teary eyed. I always love race mornings, the feeling of being surrounded by so many people, strangers really, that for one moment, you are connected to for this short time, for this one race that you all spent hours preparing for.  I can't explain the feeling, but it's amazing.  The quiet long walk over made that feeling ever stronger, felt even more amazing.


It was a huge race! Over 30,000 people gathered behind the start line. I couldn't even get on to the street it was so crowded.  After the race started, all of us huddled on the grass were finally able to move onto the street & make our way towards the start.  Here's a picture I took of the start.

The race started & as I had heard would happen, I spent the first few miles (actually most the of the race) dodging people & weaving in & out of those in front of me.  We ran 2 or so miles on Coleman Street (good name!) & then up the bridge. The bridge was about 2 miles long, the 1st mile being pretty much uphill.  Luckily, I run races in Austin & this was no problem for me at all!

I started to realize that I was running each mile faster than I had planned.  When I signed up I thought this race would be more for practice than anything else, but I was soon noticing that I had a chance to PR (set a personal record), if I kept up the pace that I was at.  I left the bridge & continued the last 2 miles weaving in & out on the streets of downtown Charleston.  There definitely were not many spectators at all.  I hardly saw any people on the sides of the streets, but I came to the conclusion that no one was watching the race, because pretty much everyone who lived there was running it! I'm pretty sure 90% of the people who lived in Charleston were running that day.  I turned the last corner, saw the finish line & sped up to cross in what I was hoping was a PR (I later looked up my official time & did in face beat my best time)!  My PR is now 1:05:11, up from my 2007 Cap 10K time of 1:06:45.  After crossing the finish, the number of people in the race became even more astounding. 

I went to try & get some food from the tables & saw people tossing apples, bananas, muffins & bagels at people behind them.  I'm surprised I didn't come away with bruises trying to score some water. It was mayhem!  After somehow also getting my hands on a bagel & banana, I hoped on the bus to get back to the start line & then started the track back to my hotel.  Overall, it was a very memorable race & I'm so glad I signed up! I love getting to run in new places & this was one I will never forget!

Cleanse

After many visits with Dr. Google, I have determined that my liver is having a hard time processing all my food....and alcoholic beverages. So, today I am doing a liver cleanse, sounds fun right? We'll see how long is lasts.

The cleanse consists of only drinking this drink today: 2-3 tablespoons of apple cider vinegar, couple drops of honey, pinch of cayenne pepper, 1 squeezed lemon & the rest hot water. It's a good thing I think this taste like yummy tea, except for the cayenne part, it's weird to have your tea taste a little spicy. The day following I will try & stick to no solid foods, just eating some broth, carrot juice, things like that, and then very healthy foods that are easy to digest for a while.  Alright, let's go!

9:30am - Drink #1 - I'm feeling excited! I have a good feeling this is going to help me feel a lot better! Still liking the drink (I had a test glass last night to see how it tasted). I do feel a little dizzy, but I think it's all in the mind because I usually don't eat until noon anyway...my mind just knows it's getting no food today.

11:15am - This is totally a mind thing, I feel so weak & it's only 11...haha.

11:55am - Drink #2 - Still good! I switched to a raw apple cider vinegar that I got from a co-worker, it's even better. It helps that I really like vinegar...we'll see if I still like that taste after today.

12:45pm - A burger sounds really good right now.

1:40pm - Hunger has passed, it helps that everyone is back from lunch.

2:15pm - My stomach is making some funny noises.

3:20pm - Drink #3 - Not tasting as appealing as drink #1, but still pretty filling.

6:30pm - Home and hungry. It's so much harder knowing there's a cabinet full of food so close.

7:00pm - I really want something to eat right now. This is tough.

7:35pm - Trying to watch TV to distract myself from food...it's not working.  They are eating chocolate cake on How I Met Your Mother & making chicken dumpling soup on One Tree Hill.

8:35pm - Drink #4 - Doing a glass without the cayenne pepper....makes it taste much better!

9:20pm - Update, couldn't finish glass. Vinegar....yuck!

10:00pm - No longer hungry, but headache has started.

11:10pm - Bedtime - I made it! Pounding head & will probably dream of cheeseburgers, but I did it :)

Summary: I don't see how people do this for more than 1 day...it's tough. I totally underestimated it.  It was good that being hungry seemed to come in waves, I thought once it hit, it wouldn't go away until I ate something.  I don't think I've ruined vinegar for myself entirely, just the apple cider kind, and probably not forever. I am hoping I can keep up with the liquids tomorrow & not ruin it all by scarfing down a huge burger....man, burgers on the brain today, I could never be a vegetarian.

Update: Day after - I thought the hardest part was going to be yesterday, until after a night of headaches & little sleep, I woke up feeling awful. Dizzy, sick to my stomach, I stayed home from work today because I could barely move. Guess that's a detox for you, huh? I've managed to eat a few things, chicken pho soup & some carrot juice.  Feeling better now, will probably make some fish & steamed veggies for dinner.  Geez.

Dirty Christmas Song?

As the Christmas season ends & the New Year approaches, I find myself nostalgic hearing the final plays of Christmas songs on the radio, knowing their cheerful tunes will soon come to an end. I love Christmas music & am always very excited the day after Thanksgiving when 95.5 begins to play these songs non-stop.


One holiday song in particular that has never made me feel all warm & fuzzy inside is "Baby it's Cold Outside". Why is this song not among all the other feel good songs of the season? Let me answer this by going over some of the lyrics:


Line 5: "My mother will start to worry"
Line 6: "My father will be pacing the floor"
This song is obviously being sung by a girl that is under 18, someone who still lives at home with her parents

Line 13: "I ought to say no, no, no, sir"
The man in this song is being called "sir" by the girl & seems to have his own place, giving the sense that he is an adult, an adult seducing a young girl


Line 8: "Well maybe just a half a drink more"
He's providing the young girl with alcohol

Line 10: "Say, what's in this drink"
Lines 11-12: "I wish I knew how....to break the spell"
A drink with a roofie perhaps?


Line 14: "At least I'm gonna say that I tried"
Lines 17-18: "I simply must go...the answer is no"
She told him no...around 15 times actually


His lines?


Line 21: "Man, your lips look delicious"
Line 23: "Gosh your lips are delicious"
Line 27: "I thrill when you touch my hand"
Creepy


Line 28: "How can you do this thing to me?"
Line 29: "Think of my life long sorrow"
Talk about pressure


Line 31: "Get over that hold out"
A song about date rape of a minor should not be turned into a happy warm & fuzzy Christmas song...case closed

The Break In

I came home on August 3rd expecting it to be a normal Monday evening. I was going to play with Ellie for a while, maybe take a nap, and then go grocery shopping. Once I walked in the door...all those plans changed.

I noticed the door was easier to unlock than usual & once inside saw that part of the door frame had been ripped off. It didn't hit me what had happened & at first I wondered why my friend (who was supposed to stop by during the day), had taken apart the door frame. Once I looked over to the TV stand & saw the TV, Wii & Blu-Ray player gone & realized my laptop was also missing from the arm of the couch, I knew what had happened. I had been given a sheet a few weeks before from my apartment complex telling me there had been numerous break ins in the area, and I had been worried about it ever since. I had been robbed while at work that day.

I heard Ellie whining from the bathroom & rushed over to her, so thankful she hadn't been harmed or taken. It hit me immediately how grateful I was that she was ok & kept telling her over & over how glad I was that she was a loud barker, it was probably the reason they didn't enter the bathroom.

I called 911 & told them I had been robbed. I was informed that it wasn't a robbery because I wasn't home, but a burglary. Ok 911, great time to correct someone, I don't care what it's called, just help me! They then told me to call non-emergency. This confuses me, shouldn't an emergency consist of anything that could eventually land someone in jail? Yeah, a cat in a tree...non-emergency, but someone kicking in my door & taking almost everything of monetary value....uh, non-emergerncy? Doesn't sound right to me.

I was kind of in a daze after that, a bunch of people came by; my dad, Angelique, the police to fingerprint, the apartment people to repair my door. The whole time I was in shock that it had happened at all, and even now, 2 1/2 weeks later, it still doesn't seem real.

After that, the happy place I loved to be at & cherished, became a scary place. Everytime I went anywhere I was afraid when I came home that the door would be busted in & they would have come back for Ellie. Lying in bed I would hear noises & jump up, afraid someone was breaking in. I've started to have nightmares about it. Since then I've had an alarm system installed, and it has helped a lot, but I don't think I'll ever feel the same in my apartment, or maybe any home, from now on. I hate them for that, for taking my sense of safety away from me. TVs & laptops can be replaced, but that feeling of being completely safe & secure, it's harder to come by.

Puppy Anniversary

1 year ago today...on July 13, 2008, I got a call around 6:30 am telling me that little Ellie was on a American Airlines plane to Austin, to arrive a few hours later. I went back to sleep for a while & then my mom came over & we headed to the airport!


Her flight was a little delayed, but she soon arrived in a little crate filled with newspaper...she weighed only 2 pounds. This is our 1st picture together:

Once we got back to the apartment she immediately made herself at home, peeing on the carpet (one of the only accidents she had), and went to snuggle in her pink puppy bed.

I can't believe it's only been a year! I never thought she'd teach me as much as she has...patience when she takes forever to find a place to poop, preparations for kids one day the nights I am up with her when she's sick, and just learning to take care of something other than myself.

Happy 1 year anniversary little one....your gift is me home all day with you...even though I'm home because I'm sick, so there will be more sleeping & less playing....sorry :)