I can’t believe it’s really over.
I spent 2 years working there, 2 years giving everything I had. In the end, as much relief as it gave me, it also broke my heart to walk away. Maybe because that’s literally what I did…I walked away. I didn’t train anyone to take my place, I just sent an e-mail & that was that. It’s such a mix of emotions. On one hand, I’m thrilled to not be in a job where I’m disrespected, distrusted & unappreciated by my boss. Not to have to worry about what kind of mood she’s in that day or who she’s going to yell at. On the other hand though, it’s sad. During the 2 years I worked there, I did everything I could to help the company, to make it thrive. I nurtured our clients & spoke highly of our products. So it’s hard to leave, knowing they are going to have no idea how to do the majority of my tasks. That my leaving so abruptly is hurting the company I helped succeed for 2 years of my life. I had to do what I did though, enough was enough.
Right now I’m sitting in a wicker chair with Ellie by my side. We’re outside a little cottage I rented for the night in Fredericksburg, Texas. I had to get away for a couple of days. Sitting in my apartment all day, waiting for my new job to start, driving myself crazy with thoughts…it was not good for me. So this morning Ellie & I drove here. It’s been a nice little break from it all. I didn’t bring my laptop (my attempt to cut myself off from the world a little). I did bring a pen & paper…I had a feeling I was going to want to write these feelings down…guess I was right.
I say a prayer tonight to my old company, that my departure doesn’t do too much damage. That they finally get the coverage & success they deserve. I saw a prayer to my old boss, that she finds happiness & that her & her son have a wonderful life. Finally, I say a prayer to the new, for a fresh start, to something wonderful ahead.
Two weeks ago I flew up to Charleston, SC to work the Cooper Bridge Run expo & decided to also sign up for the 10K race that Saturday. I hadn't run too many times since the Austin 1/2 a month before & was a little nervous that I would be out of shape. I flew up Wednesday night & had 2 very long days Thurs. & Fri. (23 or so hours total) at the expo booth. I was exhausted Friday night & quickly looked up the route I would need to walk to the race the next morning, got my running clothes all lined up & promptly passed out.
Saturday morning my alarm went off around 7 (the race started at 8), I threw my outfit, running shoes & bib number on & got ready to walk the mile & a half to the start line. I assumed I was going be alone in this walk, I mean, who walks a mile & a half just to run 6.2 miles & then walk the mile & a half back? I was so wrong. It blew me away how many people I was surrounded by on the walk over. There were probably close to a thousand people coming from hotels all over making the journey to the starting line. It was a sight that make me almost teary eyed. I always love race mornings, the feeling of being surrounded by so many people, strangers really, that for one moment, you are connected to for this short time, for this one race that you all spent hours preparing for. I can't explain the feeling, but it's amazing. The quiet long walk over made that feeling ever stronger, felt even more amazing.
It was a huge race! Over 30,000 people gathered behind the start line. I couldn't even get on to the street it was so crowded. After the race started, all of us huddled on the grass were finally able to move onto the street & make our way towards the start. Here's a picture I took of the start.
The race started & as I had heard would happen, I spent the first few miles (actually most the of the race) dodging people & weaving in & out of those in front of me. We ran 2 or so miles on Coleman Street (good name!) & then up the bridge. The bridge was about 2 miles long, the 1st mile being pretty much uphill. Luckily, I run races in Austin & this was no problem for me at all!
